prenatal waxing

As I was going through my Facebook feed today, I came across this post from our local waxing & skin care studio:
 

We have been waxing expectant moms for quite some time. We DO recommend beginning in the early months vs the later. Hair removal is especially nice with a planned c-section. So many new moms have to experience the not-so-fun task of hair... that is stuck to surgical tape, sutures, or hair that grows into the healing incision. Ouch! It is perfectly safe to wax (sugar in our case!) right up to delivery. Yes, it might be more uncomfortable than before your pregnancy but it's well worth it. ♥

They also included a link to an article about this topic.  http://www.facebook.com/BeehiveWaxingandSkincare
 

At first glance, I was disgusted.  I don't know if it was the mention of planned c-sections so casually, or the $50 price tag that goes along with sugaring that could be spent in much better ways.  Then I took a deep breath, stepped away from my computer screen, and thought about it for a second. 

Truth: most of the moms I work with are not planned c-sections.  In fact, I have never had a mom going into birth with this plan.  There may be issues with hair "down there" that I hadn't even considered.  This is not a mom planning a vaginal birth who just wants to "look nice."  Not that I would fault her if she did- I myself cleaned up prior to birth (but did not wax).  I also remember how nice it was to feel pampered during pregnancy, and if this helps a mom feel better about herself, I'm all for that.  In fact, I may just go ahead and add them to my list of local resources.  Now I just need to figure out what category to list them under....

New Blogging Habit

So it was brought to my attention that my blog is a little out of date...ok, so I haven't posted in two years and I actually had to reset my password to be able to get back into it and edit it. That saddens me. So here is my new plan. I am going to get back into the habit, just like one would anything else. I've heard that it takes 21 days to develop a habit, so I will write for 21 posts to get back into the swing of things. I always have pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding related topics that I run across or will gladly talk about, so I will be doing it here. I hope you enjoy reading, and please comment to help me improve and have this be something that someone can actually get something out of! (I take criticism well...I think ;)

Birth Essay

I just received my first birth essay from a client, and WOW is about all I can say- this is such a powerful tool. I read about this concept in the book The Doula Guide to Birth, which was the first time I had heard of this but it makes so much sense to me. A birth essay is something that you write completely separate and in addition to your birth plan. It is where you explore your feelings regarding the birth and any previous birth experiences if applicable. It can be something that you share with your medical provider, birth coach, family and/or doula, or keep for your own personal reflection. I was lucky enough to receive a copy as we prep for an upcoming birth.
I think it's amazing in the first place to have a provider who would be willing and desire to know all about your feelings, fears, and emotional triggers before you give birth. The reality is that most don't know how this could even be helpful and they don't have time to really listen when asked, and would not be willing to read a birth essay. I am fortunate enough in this case to be working with a midwife who I'm sure is doing as much reflection over it as I am currently and has much more knowledge of how to use this to assist the mother, birth coach, and family through the birth experience. Even if you don't have this in your own case, sharing it with your doula, husband/partner or birth coach could be a huge help for both of you. Supporting a woman through birth is so much more than keeping her physically comfortable. In my own birth, I know that unresolved emotional wounds and fears were what held me back and in turn held my body back from being able to progress. Our minds are so intertwined with our bodies and most people don't even address this fact.
In the case of preparing for the birth of a second (or beyond) child, it is important to resolve any feelings you have regarding your previous birth experience(s), whether they were positive or negative. There are often small comments that were made or things that happened that may be a trigger for an upcoming birth you may not realize and knowing how to avoid these or having a support person be on the watch for them to minimize their negative impact is a huge help. Also seeing the things written down you are doing different or positive this time around can be a huge ego boost. This is a tool that can be used after a birth to reflect and then be rewritten if you choose as time goes on to show yourself how much you have healed or moved on. I may go write my own and I will definitely recommend all of my clients write one from now on!

Time for a "Real Job" :(

It's a sad but exciting time for me right now. I am on the hunt for a "real" job. I have my first interview in years in just 2 days. This will mean that I will probably have to give up the doula gig, at least being on call for births for the time being. This is the last thing in the world that I want to have to do, but at this point I have no choice. I would love to be a full-time doula, taking on 3-4 clients per month, and expanding my business. I don't know if it is because of the current economy that this isn't happening for me, my limitations in marketing my business, or just that people don't understand what it is that I offer. Either way, it doesn't make much of a difference. I haven't done a birth in more than 9 months. I am a single mother with no financial support from another parent. I don't have the financial flexibility that stay at home moms with a supportive husband do. I gave up my freedom (and expensive 1 bedroom condo with a beautiful view) by moving in with family so I could focus on my daughter while she was a baby, and then train for and build a business that would give us a better life. 3 years later this has yet to become a reality. I can't live this stressful life anymore. I need a regular income and a place of our own. So for now I am hanging up my physical doula hat, but that is where my heart still lies. Hopefully I don't get too busy with real life to let the dream die completely.

Iowa Lactation Task Force

So it's day 3 of my blogging challenge and I'm already 3 days behind :/. No one said habits were easy to develop....

I was honored today to be able to attend my first meeting of the Iowa Lactation Task Force. I'm not even really sure how I found out about this group- somehow came across it online last fall and had just missed their Sept meeting at that point. I saved the info and came across it as I was organizing last week and luckily was just in time for the first meeting of 2010. It was an ICN meeting with locations all across the state. The one that I attended was in Waterloo. I was a little disappointed to learn that no one else in Mason City was involved in this group so they didn't have a site set up, but I wasn't surprised. Our area really has a lack for breastfeeding support and education. I arrived a few minutes late, but from what I could gather, most (if not all) of the other women there were OB nurses and lactation consultants. This was great and all but it seemed that their focus needs to shift by bringing others into the group. I guess that's what I'm planning on doing. They kept talking about the problem with so many women going back to work and not continuing breast-feeding because of that, but no one mentioned the problem with women not even trying to begin with or thinking they are not able to. It begins with education during pregnancy, birth outcomes, support in the hospital, and most importantly after the mom gets home. I know I needed the most help when I got home and my milk came in and found the lactation nurse and pediatrician to be VERY unhelpful at this point. Luckily I had a good friend with experience who I could call. I try to set up my follow up visits with clients a few days after they get home for this very reason. Hopefully I can add even more help by starting a local La Leche League group- one of my goals for 2010. In the meantime I will continue to help in any way I know how and keep learning as much as possible. I am looking forward to being a part of this group this year and seeing how much I can get out of it!

You can learn more about the task force at http://www.iowalactation.org.

2010 Blogging Habit

So it takes 21 days to develop a habit, and one of my goals for this year is to get this blog up and moving with regular posts. I am giving myself a challenge of writing a blog a day for the next 21 days which will take me until the end of the month. There are so many things I want to get accomplished with my doula business this year and I think this will be a great start. I've got a million different ideas running through my head for topics to talk about and it will be interesting to see how long this actually takes me until I am searching for new material! I hope you enjoy and of course please feel free to chime in on ideas/suggestions/feedback.

OB Blogs about Doulas

I am a follower of @askmyobgyn on twitter, and the other day he posted that he was looking for ideas for a blog post, so I suggested he write about his experience with doulas, if he had any. Right away he answered that he had plenty of experience with this and would work on the post within the next day or so. Awesome- I was so pumped that he had taken my suggestion! It's always nice to see what people in the medical community really think of the role of a doula. After reading it I also wanted to share my opinion on what was written. So here is a link to the blog post: http://askmyobgyn.com/gyn_blog.php

I really liked some of the points that he made. Specifically: Who will be there for YOU, and not for themselves? This is why many people choose a doula rather than a family member or friend to share this experience with. She isn't emotionally tied so can often have a perspective that you and/or your partner lack, especially in stressful situations. She is also the only person in the room who's only focus is YOU and your needs. The medical staff has many other tasks and usually other patients to attend to, and the partner is having his/her own experience. This is very important for both of you to go through. He failed to mention, however that the role of the doula is also to support and encourage your spouse or labor coach. Dads in particular most of the time want to be involved as much as possible, but don't always know what to do. The doula can help suggest comfort measures he/she can assist with, explain procedures that are happening, or even reassure him/her that your reactions are normal or not. An added bonus is that the mother will then never be left alone with more than one support person available. An average first time labor lasts about 17 hours, many much more than that. At some point it's nice to be able to take a nap if needed, go get something to eat, or run to the bathroom and not have to worry that mom won't be cared for in your absence. I did notice that he kept referring to a support "person" and never used the word "people". I don't know about his particular experience, but I have never been 1 on 1 with a mom- there has always been a husband or other birth coach there as well. Everyone there works as a team to make the experience the best that it can be for the parent(s). This includes the medical staff as well.

Overall, I felt that it was a positive piece. My personal experience with obstetricians has always been a positive one, so I wasn't surprised. He did mention that there are rare doulas who give us a bad name. It is important for me to be trained and certified with DONA because this is part of our code of ethics and something that sets us apart. Anyone can call themselves a doula since there are no formal regulations. Those of us who take the time to get certified which equals in time about the same as getting a two year college degree have shown we want to be seen as the professionals we are. Hopefully one day doulas will be as recognized as obstetricians for our important role on the birth team.