Birth Essay

I just received my first birth essay from a client, and WOW is about all I can say- this is such a powerful tool. I read about this concept in the book The Doula Guide to Birth, which was the first time I had heard of this but it makes so much sense to me. A birth essay is something that you write completely separate and in addition to your birth plan. It is where you explore your feelings regarding the birth and any previous birth experiences if applicable. It can be something that you share with your medical provider, birth coach, family and/or doula, or keep for your own personal reflection. I was lucky enough to receive a copy as we prep for an upcoming birth.
I think it's amazing in the first place to have a provider who would be willing and desire to know all about your feelings, fears, and emotional triggers before you give birth. The reality is that most don't know how this could even be helpful and they don't have time to really listen when asked, and would not be willing to read a birth essay. I am fortunate enough in this case to be working with a midwife who I'm sure is doing as much reflection over it as I am currently and has much more knowledge of how to use this to assist the mother, birth coach, and family through the birth experience. Even if you don't have this in your own case, sharing it with your doula, husband/partner or birth coach could be a huge help for both of you. Supporting a woman through birth is so much more than keeping her physically comfortable. In my own birth, I know that unresolved emotional wounds and fears were what held me back and in turn held my body back from being able to progress. Our minds are so intertwined with our bodies and most people don't even address this fact.
In the case of preparing for the birth of a second (or beyond) child, it is important to resolve any feelings you have regarding your previous birth experience(s), whether they were positive or negative. There are often small comments that were made or things that happened that may be a trigger for an upcoming birth you may not realize and knowing how to avoid these or having a support person be on the watch for them to minimize their negative impact is a huge help. Also seeing the things written down you are doing different or positive this time around can be a huge ego boost. This is a tool that can be used after a birth to reflect and then be rewritten if you choose as time goes on to show yourself how much you have healed or moved on. I may go write my own and I will definitely recommend all of my clients write one from now on!