Birth Essay

I just received my first birth essay from a client, and WOW is about all I can say- this is such a powerful tool. I read about this concept in the book The Doula Guide to Birth, which was the first time I had heard of this but it makes so much sense to me. A birth essay is something that you write completely separate and in addition to your birth plan. It is where you explore your feelings regarding the birth and any previous birth experiences if applicable. It can be something that you share with your medical provider, birth coach, family and/or doula, or keep for your own personal reflection. I was lucky enough to receive a copy as we prep for an upcoming birth.
I think it's amazing in the first place to have a provider who would be willing and desire to know all about your feelings, fears, and emotional triggers before you give birth. The reality is that most don't know how this could even be helpful and they don't have time to really listen when asked, and would not be willing to read a birth essay. I am fortunate enough in this case to be working with a midwife who I'm sure is doing as much reflection over it as I am currently and has much more knowledge of how to use this to assist the mother, birth coach, and family through the birth experience. Even if you don't have this in your own case, sharing it with your doula, husband/partner or birth coach could be a huge help for both of you. Supporting a woman through birth is so much more than keeping her physically comfortable. In my own birth, I know that unresolved emotional wounds and fears were what held me back and in turn held my body back from being able to progress. Our minds are so intertwined with our bodies and most people don't even address this fact.
In the case of preparing for the birth of a second (or beyond) child, it is important to resolve any feelings you have regarding your previous birth experience(s), whether they were positive or negative. There are often small comments that were made or things that happened that may be a trigger for an upcoming birth you may not realize and knowing how to avoid these or having a support person be on the watch for them to minimize their negative impact is a huge help. Also seeing the things written down you are doing different or positive this time around can be a huge ego boost. This is a tool that can be used after a birth to reflect and then be rewritten if you choose as time goes on to show yourself how much you have healed or moved on. I may go write my own and I will definitely recommend all of my clients write one from now on!

Time for a "Real Job" :(

It's a sad but exciting time for me right now. I am on the hunt for a "real" job. I have my first interview in years in just 2 days. This will mean that I will probably have to give up the doula gig, at least being on call for births for the time being. This is the last thing in the world that I want to have to do, but at this point I have no choice. I would love to be a full-time doula, taking on 3-4 clients per month, and expanding my business. I don't know if it is because of the current economy that this isn't happening for me, my limitations in marketing my business, or just that people don't understand what it is that I offer. Either way, it doesn't make much of a difference. I haven't done a birth in more than 9 months. I am a single mother with no financial support from another parent. I don't have the financial flexibility that stay at home moms with a supportive husband do. I gave up my freedom (and expensive 1 bedroom condo with a beautiful view) by moving in with family so I could focus on my daughter while she was a baby, and then train for and build a business that would give us a better life. 3 years later this has yet to become a reality. I can't live this stressful life anymore. I need a regular income and a place of our own. So for now I am hanging up my physical doula hat, but that is where my heart still lies. Hopefully I don't get too busy with real life to let the dream die completely.

Iowa Lactation Task Force

So it's day 3 of my blogging challenge and I'm already 3 days behind :/. No one said habits were easy to develop....

I was honored today to be able to attend my first meeting of the Iowa Lactation Task Force. I'm not even really sure how I found out about this group- somehow came across it online last fall and had just missed their Sept meeting at that point. I saved the info and came across it as I was organizing last week and luckily was just in time for the first meeting of 2010. It was an ICN meeting with locations all across the state. The one that I attended was in Waterloo. I was a little disappointed to learn that no one else in Mason City was involved in this group so they didn't have a site set up, but I wasn't surprised. Our area really has a lack for breastfeeding support and education. I arrived a few minutes late, but from what I could gather, most (if not all) of the other women there were OB nurses and lactation consultants. This was great and all but it seemed that their focus needs to shift by bringing others into the group. I guess that's what I'm planning on doing. They kept talking about the problem with so many women going back to work and not continuing breast-feeding because of that, but no one mentioned the problem with women not even trying to begin with or thinking they are not able to. It begins with education during pregnancy, birth outcomes, support in the hospital, and most importantly after the mom gets home. I know I needed the most help when I got home and my milk came in and found the lactation nurse and pediatrician to be VERY unhelpful at this point. Luckily I had a good friend with experience who I could call. I try to set up my follow up visits with clients a few days after they get home for this very reason. Hopefully I can add even more help by starting a local La Leche League group- one of my goals for 2010. In the meantime I will continue to help in any way I know how and keep learning as much as possible. I am looking forward to being a part of this group this year and seeing how much I can get out of it!

You can learn more about the task force at http://www.iowalactation.org.

2010 Blogging Habit

So it takes 21 days to develop a habit, and one of my goals for this year is to get this blog up and moving with regular posts. I am giving myself a challenge of writing a blog a day for the next 21 days which will take me until the end of the month. There are so many things I want to get accomplished with my doula business this year and I think this will be a great start. I've got a million different ideas running through my head for topics to talk about and it will be interesting to see how long this actually takes me until I am searching for new material! I hope you enjoy and of course please feel free to chime in on ideas/suggestions/feedback.